Mental Health Awareness Day

It’s mental health awareness day today. For some reason, mental health is still a ‘taboo’ subject for some people. No one has any issues talking about physical ailments like broken bones, painful hips or even a painful stomach. Yet if the illness/condition is a so called ‘invisible’ illness, people have trouble talking about it, or believing or understanding. In my experience, in my eleven years of fibromyalgia, CFS and anxiety, I found that people either didn’t believe me because ‘I looked ok’ or they were interested to know about it so they could try and gain understanding. That’s all that’s needed- knowledge so people can gain understanding.

So many people with any kind of mental illness feel alone. Sometimes it’s just enough to be with someone who totally gets it or tries to understand, if they’ve not actually experienced it. So that people can be themselves rather than hide behind a mask and pretend they are ok, which is what I did.

So how can you help raise awareness? How can you be there for someone with a mental health condition? How can you help improve the state of someone’s mental health?

This is why I became a master NLP practitioner- it helped me so much because it’s all about what you want and the positive. Help them to change their mindset. So now I help people to create the life they dream of.

Today, I am working alongside a colleague, to give empowerment and reiki sessions to workers in a business hub. All money will go towards MIND, which happens to be the hub’s chosen charity.

How could you be the difference that makes the difference?

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Feel the fear, breath and conquer!

Have there been times in your life when you’ve wanted to do something, but your inner voice tells you that you can’t and gives you loads of reasons that make feel you’re not good enough?

During my recovery from fibromyalgia and CFS, I had to fight through lots of fears to become the confident person I am now. I had dramatic change and transformation.

When I had my car accident at the beginning of July, it took lots of my confidence with it, as well as causing physical injuries.

It took me lots of NLP and hypnosis to get into my car, but I was convinced everyone was going to bump into me. I got panic attacks. Through self hypnosis and NLP, I started to begin to trust other drivers and I gradually became more confident driving short, familiar journeys. My car was written off and I chose to buy virtually the same car (even the same colour!) with the money I received. That gave me more confidence.

After eight weeks, I finally felt up to driving a three hour round trip, which was conquering lots of fears.

During this time I was feeling unconfident about marketing my business, so I started working on my confidence with NLP. I couldn’t understand why I was suddenly lacking in confidence.

The next day I had to take my son to an appointment. As I drive towards the motorway, I realised what the real fear I needed to conquer was- to drive on a motorway. I couldn’t back out of it, as my son would be late. I needed to confront it. So I put on my ‘power song’. I could feel the stress rising up inside of me, so started deep breathing and focussing on the positive, knowing I could do it- you have to believe you can do it in order to achieve it. As I approached the motorway slip road, I had tears streaming down my face. The accident had stopped me from trusting other drivers. Still breathing and crying, I pulled onto the motorway. Within a few minutes, my tears had turned into a smile, which turned to laughter. I was laughing because I had actually done it! I was driving confidently on the motorway! I was so proud of myself! The journey home was fine. I was Sam, the confident driver again. In fact, I had become confident Sam again, full stop. I suddenly realised it wasn’t my business and the trade-show I was fearful about- that was just masking the real fear- the motorway.

The trade-show was brilliant and I loved ‘selling’ myself and my business.

It’s often not the thing we are worrying about that is the actual main fear. Hit the root cause and the rest cascades like dominoes.

The key thing is you can only conquer your fears when you are ready. It took me eight weeks to go on a motorway and only because I had to, but I wouldn’t have been ready before. I have other fears to conquer and I will know when I’m ready. Sometimes, like having to go on the motorway, we just need that metaphorical push.

So what are your biggest fears?

Maybe they are holding you back from following your heart and dreams?

What’s stopping you from conquering your fears?

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National Road Victim Month

August is National Road Victim Month. Over 500,000 people have been killed on the roads in Great Britain since the death of Bridget Driscoll in 1896. August was designated National Road Victim Month by RoadPeace after the death of Diana Princess of Wales in 1997. She was killed on 31 August, the same day as the world’s first motor vehicle victim, Mary Ward, was killed in Ireland in 1869. Britain’s first road death also occurred in August, when Bridget Driscoll was killed in Crystal Palace on 17th August 1896, with the coroner pronouncing “this must never happen again”.

As well as remembering people that have been lost and injured, it is also a great opportunity to raise awareness to make our roads safer.

It has hit home a lot more this year, as I am still recovering from the car accident I had a month ago. I know I am much luckier than lots of people who have car crashes. It affected me a lot mentally (being scared that every car was going to crash into me) aswell as physically (ribs, neck, shoulders, back are still painful a month on) and I’m one of the lucky ones!

It has made me more aware that however good a driver we are, we have to be so aware of others. I was in so much shock when the car hit me and ricocheted me forward.

If everyone obeyed the highway code’s recommendations on braking and stopping distances, then a lot of accidents could be prevented and a lot less people would not be injured or would still be alive.

Remember, only a fool breaks the two second rule!

So, take care when on the roads, exemplify good driving and remember all the people who weren’t so lucky.

In case you want to donate or go to a memorial service, here’s the link

Remembrance Events

If you are suffering from trauma following an accident, I can help. Email me for a FREE consultation.

Sparkle without Glitter ✨

Two weeks ago, I was helping with make up and backstage for the dance show my daughter was in. The make up included glitter. A little girl said she wanted to do my make up, so I let her put glitter on my face. I forgot it was there!

The chair of the ballet club told me I sparkle without glitter. This got me thinking! Throughout my adult life, once I’ve lost my spark with something, I’ve known it was time to stop. When I gave up full time classroom teaching because I had lost my spark- it came back when I realised I could still teach without doing it full time! And I did it alongside being a make up artist. Now I do tutoring and teaching at a museum alongside coaching and Reiki. It’s variety that makes me sparkle. I like doing lots of different things. I always have. Some people have found it strange that I haven’t had just one job since I was thirty!

I just love each job I do and love the variety I get!

I used to sing and dance in amateur musicals. I stopped because it became too much when I had fibromyalgia. When I recovered, I then realised that I could now choose not to perform in shows rather than being forced not to do them. I recently left a singing group I had been in for 8 years. Not because I didn’t want to be in it anymore, in fact, the last concert was the best concert we had performed in!

It was because learning all the songs had become a chore. When something becomes a chore, it’s not enjoyable anymore. And I like my life to be enjoyable. My hobbies and my working life.

I started singing at home, for fun and have got my spark back for singing too.

So what makes me sparkle without glitter? Helping people, being with my likeminded friends, dancing, singing, my kids, dressing up, doing what makes my heart sing, being authentically me!

What makes you sparkle without glitter?

Do you do enough things that make you sparkle without glitter?

Does your work make you sparkle without glitter?

If you answered no to the last two questions, what would it take to change that?

Then take massive action to change that NOW!

If you’re not sure how to do this, then book a FREE 30 minute discovery call with me NOW.

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Dream, Believe, Achieve! Just do it!

Last week I went away to Devon for three days, completely on my own! It was fabulous! It was a working holiday, but was so lovely to have no time commitments, no one else to look after or think about other than myself, to have an ‘office’ in the sun by the sea.

I felt very brave, as it’s the first time I’ve been away completely on my own. Whenever I’ve been away on my own before, I’ve always been on a course or with friends in the day. So it was very freeing. I did lots of walking and meditation by the sea and overcame my fear of walking on a sea wall with a sheer drop to the sea! I even rebelled from my old rules and got not one, but two tattoos!

Dream and believe. Dream, believe, Achieve are my three core pillars when coaching and also how I live my life. And no, I’m not getting Achieve tattooed on my chest!! I represent the Achieve! I dreamt I could recover from fibromyalgia and cfs despite being told by doctors that I would always have them. I only achieved this fully when I believed I could. It wasn’t easy, but once I started changing for the better, I wanted more.

If you keep doing the same thing you get the same results. So if you start changing and get positive results, you want more positive change.

Anyway, after a fab time in Devon, I was about the get petrol so I could start my journey home and suddenly, like a bolt of lightning, my car was ricocheting forward, having been hit from behind by another car. I was so shaken, I couldn’t even remember my insurance company! I burst into tears, i hurt my ribs, back, shoulders and neck, have been exhausted since and completely lost my confidence in myself and driving. I realised how lucky I was on my way home, when I was stopped in traffic at an accident and saw lots of ambulances. Lots of my old thought patterns, worries and lack of confidence appeared. I obviously have the tools now to stop those and rose back up. I tried, but I wasn’t ready to come back up fully until I had found the learning from this accident. And I needed a little help from a friend.

So what have I learnt, realised? It made me realise how lucky I am and that life is too short – so all those things I want to do but haven’t, I need to JUST DO IT! It made me realise that I do rely on support, despite liking to be independent. And that I am lucky to have supportive friends and family. It made me realise how far I have come- I used to live in that overthinking, worrying world and I’m not sure how I coped like that all the time- although to be fair, I didn’t know any different at that point! It made me realise that things can change so quickly, that you have to seize the day.

So my message to you is not to wait for an accident or some other trauma or awful thing to happen to make you realise all these things, just do what make your heart sings all the time. Follow your heart and your gut and do what feels right to you in that moment. Because life really is too short for ‘what ifs’ or excuses. Do it now!!

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What are you waiting for? JUST DO IT!

Stronger than Yesterday!

I have a positive playlist that I listen to often, to lift me. Sometimes certain words jump out at me to give me reminders. So, my next blog posts are going to be linked to songs that provide reminders and boosts to me.

So, today’s blog is inspired by Britney Spears!

Sometimes life throws us some awful things, we can moan about them, feel negative about them and let them rule our life or we can embrace them, try to get through them, grabbing any possible positives there may be from them and let them help us to become stronger and shape us to become an even better version of ourselves than we were.

I know I am so much stronger than I used to be. I know I’m strong, when I consider I recovered from 11 1/2 years of fibromyalgia and CFS when doctors said I would always have it. Although actually carrying on with the illness proved how strong I actually am too. Just one example of my inner strength. We have lots of things in life that happen to throw us off course. It’s these challenges that can make us grow and become stronger.

All the things in life that we have to deal with make us stronger. To use lyrics from another song- ‘what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

The song ‘Stronger’ is one of my new Sam anchors and helped me greatly in my recovery.

If I’m feeling in need of a reminder how far I’ve come or I need to remember I am strong and resilient (which I also say daily as an affirmation), I listen to Britney who reminds me ‘I’m stronger than yesterday!’🎶🎶

I dance around to it and I feel much stronger and dancing also helps me to stay out of my internal chatroom and get into my body.

Try it. Let me know how it goes.

And remember, you can achieve whatever you want to achieve if you believe you can because you are stronger than yesterday.

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‘Let it go, that perfect girl is gone’

In the words of Elsa from Frozen, ‘Let it go, that perfect girl is gone.’ I was working this morning, whilst listening to my positive playlist and ‘let it go’ came on. I have it there as a reminder that I can let go of whatever doesn’t serve me. That’s the bit I usually focus on. Today, however, ‘that perfect girl is gone’ are the words that jumped out at me. When I had Fibromyalgia and CFS, I was always pushing myself to be perfect, despite everything being so much effort due to chronic fatigue, pain and brain fog. During my recovery, I realised that I was striving for something I wasn’t ever going to achieve. I wasn’t ever going to be the perfect girl I was hoping to be. As soon as I realised it was ok to be good enough, and I said it enough times that I actually started to believe I was good enough, I realised that was enough. I am good enough! It doesn’t mean I can’t do my best, but I am not now chasing something I will never achieve. I am awesome and I am good enough and I am much happier and healthier and freer now! So next time you’re striving to be perfect, remember, it’s ok to be good enough.

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